SAFE ZONE
Steve Behlke
July 4, 2008
A very good friend of mine who understands grace very well, just sent me the following blog from www.nakedpastor.com. She said, "... it exemplies real grace." I agree.
It's a simple question:
Can You?
Can you speak your mind…
Can you openly confess your sin…
Can you share your perpetual struggles…
Can you make a mistake…
Can you question the bible and theology…
Can you lose your faith…
Can you come out of the closet…
Can you fail…
Can you crash…
Can you be chronically depressed…
…Without fear of reprisal, alienation, demotion, isolation or removal? If you can’t, find a place where you can. Because there are such places. I know this for a fact.
He's right. The church with whom you are learning to trust and follow Jesus, with whom you meet together to worship God, and with whom you labor to bring the Gospel to those who could really use the "Good News," should be such a place and such a people!
If your church community is not such a people, don't just leave, ask Why not? What is being done to bring grace to life in your church? Anything?! What are the leaders doing to nurture "real grace" in our church? Anything?! What can you do to help?
My theology is indelibly shaped by the teachings of Jesus Christ, who makes it pretty clear that we all sin, we all screw up really bad and really often...
... And that we grow most naturally in a family-type of believing community that "gets" this about human weakness and which celebrates the light and truth and grace and love of God that are ours in Christ Jesus...
... And that the church with whom we worship should be the safest, most receptive, and most hope-inspiring group of holy people with whom we can be real and honest and open and safely encouraged and loved and guided to follow Christ and grow in Christlikeness.
So, for a church not to jump for joy and celebrate and pray and rejoice but to actually frown on and even to punish human honesty about human frailty, perpetual struggles and even failure; and for a church to actually make it safer for people to stay IN THE CLOSET than to come OUT OF THE CLOSET is as wrong and contrary to Jesus Christ as evil is contrary to good.
Let us love each other, trust Christ with one another, and value such virtues as authenticity, vulnerability, honesty and integrity...
... Let us give others the opportunity to see these Christly virtues in us...
... And God help us to guarantee others the right to freely and boldly express these to us, for these not only lead to holy living but these truly exemplify holy living.
Thanks for sharing the 'Can You?' quote from the Naked Pastor. As I read this I thought 'Can I?'...to which I have to say, 'No.' I think this entry may represent the clearest -- to my mind anyways -- summary of your "grace-ethic." Steve, I can only pray that you would help us become the sort of people (and community) you describe here.
Gabe
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Hi Gabe,
I think you have taken the first step from "'Can I?'" to I can! When we confess our weaknesses to one another Jesus is totally aware of what you've confessed. Immediately His blessing comes and turns that weakness into strength. Remember that Steve is only Steve, and he says amazing things to us in ways that make us sit up and take notice. They also make some people here at the CC take a hike away from our fellowship. But it is the Holy Spirit that takes Steve's words and puts them to work in our minds and our hearts. It is Satan who twists those words in the minds and hearts of those who leave our fellowship.
The fact that you are giving Steve the thumbs up for what he has written here is proof of God's grace on you even as you've replied to what he said.
I echo your prayer that "you would help us become the sort of people (and community) you describe here." We are a society, and sadly even a so called Christian one, that is afraid to be naked(not physical clothing) before one another. We are clothed in deceit, in pretentiousness, and in fear. I echo your prayer Gabe, because this falsehood keeps me in counseling which is really not a bad thing. I am enjoying the privilege of witnessing to my psychotherapist about Jesus every week. Praise God for our weaknesses.
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Hi Steve,
I just replied to Gabe, but I want to reply to you as well. In 1974 I came into a loving, trusting, revelation of who God was. For the first time in my life I knew that I knew Jesus. Within two years of that I had an experience that cemented my friendship with jesus for life. BUT! Finding people to honestly live out the Christian life with was really full of holes and pitfalls. I'm not condemning any of the people I have fellowshipped with over the years. But the denial of our very real problems stopped growth in the two churches I have been a member of since knowing Christ, and the fact that we are flawed creatures was not embraced and openly worked on. If we can't confess our sins to each other and corporately, without fear of rejection, then we are not a Biblical Church! Thank you for doing what you are doing, which is putting yourself on the front line to teach us about who God truly is. Thanks also for the words that you use to describe and define the Word of God in His Holy Bible that bring it alive to us. It is uncomfortable and at the same time exciting and edifying to me. It's also encouraging and gives me feelings of security and hope.
Thanks Pastor Steve, and thanks to our true, living, and almighty God.
Edwina
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Edwina,
My comment was not only about the 'confess your sins' part of the list. The previous churches I was part of did not encourage inquisitive minds. In fact, disagreements (theological or otherwise) resulted in hostile, condemning responses. As a result -- among other things -- I had to keep completely silent about two major crises of faith; I doubted the veracity of the Christian story but I couldn't turn to anyone. (It's lonely to work through episodes of doubt when it's just you, your doubt, and a pile of books.)
Given our desire to wear masks to hide our problems and idiosyncrasies, I would be surprised to find a church that is truly accepting of and transparent about the whole range of things addressed in Steve's post (from questions and doubts to confessing sin).
Of course "Steve is only Steve." I think that a leader can bring a new ethos -- new values -- to a group. Steve is developing a grace-ethic, which I believe is rare, but much needed.
Gabe
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I agree that it's important to foster an environment of humility and raw honesty about how far we stand from the perfect example we have in Jesus Christ. And I think we first need to be equipped as a body with HOW to hold each other in and through our associated trials and tribulations. HOW do we genuinely support someone who is in some sort of crisis or who suffers with a more chronic condition? What does one say to someone who confesses a sin -- or fear, or doubt, or who comes out of the closet -- to help them feel safe and loved and pointed to Jesus who said to trust Him for peace surpassing understanding?
And how do we hold each other accountable to truth in and beyond Grace? If someone we have helped through a redemptive process does "return to their own vomit", how do we help them feel safe and loved and point them once again to Jesus who, after offering them His peace, said to sin no more?
Mind you, I'm not saying "How could we!?", rather "How CAN we?" What does it look like? What would one say? What would Jesus say? And are we prepared to offer follow up and continuity of care once worm cans that have been kept carefully (legalistically) sealed for many years are coaxed opened with ample applications of grace?
I am eager to see implemented the provisions of shepherding and lay-counseling that are included in the five year plan for College Church. It seems to me that before people can feel safe falling, or flinging themselves, off of their own pedestals there needs to be in place authentic, effective safety nets designed to catch the falling/en. And trained "medics" to tend to the wounded.
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First of all, I think we all have some kind of crisis or chronic condition--especially our fallen and corrupt bodies. Paul had one which is referred to as a thorn in his side. The way we "Can" help people like this. We "Can" by knowing we are all suffering from the same fallen condition. Then we need to take on the mind and heart of Jesus Christ by immersing ourselves in His Holy Words found in His Holy Bible. When we take on the mind and heart of Jesus then we won't need a plan we will know what to do. We have a safety net--Jesus. We have our medic--Jesus. I'm so sick and tired of plans in The College Church that I could vomit!! We have all that we need it's in the Holy Bible. We have what we need it's the Holy Spirit.
Secondly all confessions are not of sin. Some confessions are Godly ideas that have been rejected by others so we've held them inside of us because legalistic Christians have frowned on them.
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You might want to pay attention to the juxtaposition of "I'm so sick . . .of plans in CC that I could vomit" to "godly ideas that have been rejected by others."
One person's "godly ideas" are often another person's ipecac.
It's a struggle for leadership to know how to inspire the body to maturity, and to know how to implement the equipping of the saints. As you say, it's all in the Book, but putting it into place has been a struggle for the last 2,000+ years. Paul's letters are testimony of the struggle, and Jesus' rebukes to the 5 of the 7 churches mentioned in Revelation show the odds of unwavering obedience by the church. Not too high. Thanks be to God for his grace . . .
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"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."
Much of what is properly done in Christendom is leading the horse to water. Some of what is improperly done is trying to force him to drink. It always seems easier to point to what ought NOT be done in a church, than what ought to. I suspect this is because with the former you can produce a list, one that could go on for millions of pages. But with the latter, you have to be constantly listening to Him who is head of the church.
Like the Israelites, we clamor for an earthly king rather than accept our divine one. We'd rather have one priest or pastor in charge than accept the responsibilities that come with all of us being a royal priesthood with one high priest--Jesus. We prefer the OT model to the NT model. We're intimidated by the thought of a group of elders and bishops exercising the gifts of the Spirit in daily dependence on Him, with the rest of us taking responsibility for our relationships with God under their care and example as we discover what gifts we ourselves have been given for the body. Our sinful natures would like to proudly point out to Jesus our accomplishments through our business models of Church programmed out to the last amen. We don't really want to think about the implications of what it might mean not to know Him in the midst of it all.
We're intimidated by the responsibilities of a living relationship of deep dependency on a holy God who might only lead us day by day. Most Christians I know have serious problems spending time alone with God. Being a Christian for them is more a cultural identity. It's about their dress, their music and drinking and voting habits, their choice of recreational activities and the people they hang out with. They're uncomfortable with unbelievers, and uncomfortable with taking an honest look at how little time they spend alone reading Scripture and talking and listening to God. They're most comfortable with the words "love" and "devotion" in perpetual quotation marks in reference to Jesus. Ain't nothing like the real thing, but the cultural trappings are easier.
Some have reacted to this with the Shepherding/Discipleship/Covenant movement, to great abuse. If the horses aren't drinking, don't lasso their necks and pull. To mix metaphors, they're already bearing a yoke. Ask them who they're following with that yoke; ask them why the water doesn't look tasty. And ask how much they see you drinking and bathing in it yourself. People should be encouraged to safely evaluate their relationship with God, and offered the tools and healing opportunities to make it better. If a church wants to help the seekers and young believers, the "mature" need to be honest about what's going on with themselves and their lack of love.
How much do we love Jesus, and do we care to love him more? This isn't Steve's dilemma to solve for the congregation--the questions are on all our shoulders.
Can you feel His yoke there?
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Dear Ones,
Okay. I want to apologize for being impulsive again, being unkind, rude and thoughtless. My daughter Kris told me I should have said dizzy. It could have been a worse word.
My problem is I feel cold when it comes to plans-sometimes. With the January 24 hour prayer I think I did an admirable job of working with everyone on those plans. It wasn't easy for me though. The joy of that was all the Bible reading and praying we all did in preparation.
Long ago I determined to love people and not to have pet peeves. Pet peeves are a form of judgment. So I love all of you, even those I don't yet know, because this is my plan to do God's will. It is almost an effortless plan to follow, because the love and energy to give it away comes from the Holy Spirit. The amazing thing is that the more love I give to all of you the more God fills my heart with His love again and again. I guess that by slamming you folks' Godly plans I am not practicing what I'm preaching am I? I am judging you as sure as anything.
So please forgive me for my foul mouth, but do keep up the discussion because it's getting really good. And I just have to add that I was only slamming plans and not any of you, but I think that can be easily misinterpreted.
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Dear Parishoner,
This is really good. You are echoing what I have had a difficult time saying. David M. used to remind us from time to time that he was the Senior Pastor and we the ministers. The only change now is that Steve is the Lead Pastor. And being ministers is an awesome position. It means that we don't just come into our gymnasium sanctuary and get entertained. All of those worship events are not for our pleasure and enjoyment. They are pleasant and enjoyable, but we are taking part in them and we are sending them up to our God on High. It's all for His pleasure and enjoyment, but we can enjoy it with Him. We are supposed to be opening up our hearts to let it all flow in so we can leave with it at the end of the service. But we aren't supposed to let it lie fallow in our hearts. We need to let it out all week long. There is an old youth group song called, "Pass it On". That is what we need to do with all the wonderful music, prayers, and the sermon information, and the Holy Spirit grace that binds it together in love and conveys it into our hearts.
Love you all
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